Spring is in the air.

Dammit, I’m frustrated.

I knew from the 90 minutes I sat by the side of the freeway last december when I blew my engine, that I was going to spend at least 3 grand to get it rolling again.   A few weeks later I figured 4 grand.  then, when my flywheel was fucked I figured it would be $4,500.  I’d planned on raising that much.   I raised $1900 and gave it to jerry, which left 2600 bucks I had to come up with.     Jerry called me and told me my bike would be done thursday.   I rallied, did some hustling, sold some web sites and got 2500 bucks thursday.   Man, was I happy.  I made my goal.

Till i got there and found out I was 1,175 dollars short.   I’ll raise that too.   I’m waiting on one part to come in from Milwaukee, then I’ll be riding again.   Jerry is being very fair to me on a bike that needed everything but case halves, cylinders and heads.

Really, none of this matters.  Not your problem, It’s my problem.    I was hoping to be breaking my bike in again tonight.   Listening to the stereo, cruising over the utah hill tonight, dreaming of where I’d ride to this summer.   I’d change my oil for the initial break in, and ride a few hundred more miles and change it again.   Then, the US is my oyster.

My bike is important to me.   Man, Maybe too important to some people, but certainly not to me.   It’s my sanity — my reset button.   It’s my psychiatrist that asks for nothing more than a tank of gas and an unknown road to tell me exactly what I need to do to make my life, my BACA chapter, my family and my direction all come into harmony and be better.   You may not understand that.   If you don’t, you probably don’t ride.     4 hours into an unknown direction, things come into focus.   Clarity happens.    I learn to appreciate the thorns that I have bled to, the plant that I am keeping alive and the roses that smell so sweet once again.     I’ll ride another 10 hours away from home, and the way home I go home a better man.  A more patient husband, an understanding father.   Thats not drama, thats reality.    I absolutely understand that I need to ride.

The last 2 years I’ve given up so much.   I lost my home of  15 years.   I went months and months keeping my employees paid and me going home with nothing most weeks.   I’ve had repo men on my doorstep more than a few times.   I’ve defaulted on credit cards.    i’ve had phone calls from people I’ve owed money to.   I’ve had fridays I’ve barely made payroll.    My wife has not had grocery money.   I’ve sat home a failure, with my phone blowing up from bill collectors.    All with my bike in the garage, and 25 bucks for 2 tanks of gas, and I’ve risen and fought again on monday.

Now, my business is profitable again.   have a little money, and am using it to pay off the debt I’ve accrued to keep my business alive.   My business partner has stayed my best friend, who fights his fights as well, and many of mine.   But my bike is not in the garage, and I can’t enjoy any of it without it.   Next week, I will.   I’m going to take a few hundred dollars, ride to texas for the first time in my life, re-align my priorities, and come home with my ass on fire and my head clear.    Gotta get my rockability back.

Even my bike let me down at the perfect time of the year.    I can’t complain about a thing.

My wife is rock solid.  I’ve picked my friends well.   My business is healthy.   My family is good.    Once my bike is back, I’ll be complete.       Like I said, its not me being dramatic.   It’s a fact of my life.     I am a Biker.