This weekend, I’m riding down to a rally that I coordinated for a couple of years.   The vendors, the food, the bike games, the poker run, dealing with the casino management.  It’s been 3 years since I’ve been to it.  The last time I was there, it was the lowest point of my life, and it culminated, at least for me that weekend.  Shit came to a head, one Saturday night.  Shit I’m embarrassed about, but in hind sight, taught me a thing.  I haven’t been back there since.     I turned in my BACA patch not long after.

in November of 2010, I was 4 million dollars in debt from a business that had gone pretty far south.  From shit that under normal circumstances, I’d have known better.  It effected my psyche, my marriage, and definitely my self confidence.  This rally was where it came to a head, at least for me and I realized I needed to turn things around.

When my mom died in 2011, it was the start of  where I started to snap me out of it.  It was time to focus. I’m very grateful for that part.

I haven’t been back to this area since I left there, almost 2 1/2 years ago.   I just need to go back and re-do this weekend, on my own terms.   My wife doesn’t particularly  understand how much it means to me.   Maybe that’s just how men are, and women are.    We see things differently.   I need to make it right for her too.

Then its fuck all.   The last piece I kinda need to move past it, once and for all.  I’m still not out from under the decisions of that time, but I will be.    Most days, I feel pretty bullet proof.

I’m looking forward to having a whole helluva lot of fun, and reunite with some friends I truly care about.  Mostly, because I know they are my friends.

Plus its my last, major ride of the season before the snow flies.    I got some road time to sum it all up.    Hell yes.    This is a good thing.

I’ll give a full report.

Fokker out.