Love this song.   It’s one I put on the ipod for about every long ride I go on.   It just always seems to fit wherever I’m riding.

Need new grips for my bike.  The return cable no longer stays attached.

Funny thing, it was a ride that before my bike blew I wouldn’t even consider a ride.   I think tho, to alot of my friends who ride it woulda been a ride they’d considered big.    Either way, It felt good to me.

Yesterday robyn and I headed out at 8 to go check out a house we’re thinking about renting.   Great big house, for the same price as what we pay here.    It may or may not happen.

Then, we rode to the dealership, grabbed 4 quarts of oil and a filter, then boogied off to our BACA chapter child ride for the month.   Child ride seemed like a good stretch to finish my break in on my engine:  some freeway, some highway, some around town.   We did that, and I went home and changed my oil.

Loco showed up right after and we rode to the firehouse, then over the  utah hill.    Had a few beers at the dam bar with a few friends, then I headed south.   Love my brothers, but damn…. I needed and still need some solo time in the saddle with my bike.

Man, I’m looking for something in life right now.   I’m looking for some peace to be honest.   I’m looking to find my way again, my inspiration.   I need a muse.  I know where it is:  its sitting in my garage right now.   I don’t know shit from shinola, but the last 20 years have taught me one thing:   great answers come from long rides.     Its been the reset button for my life.  It’s better than any religion or baptism that I’ve ever known.    It’s been true, and its been proven to me.   I love the open road.

I’m gonna put 500 miles on this bike so I know I can trust this engine, then I’m heading the hell out of town for a real ride.   I need one.    No doubt, I’ll come back a new man.

Picked her up yesterday around 2:30.    She feels faster.   Engine sounds tight.    Jerry did a good job.      Rode around last night with a huge smile and the stereo full blast.   Child ride this saturday, then I dump the oil.   Can’t wait.

My bike is done.   Waiting for the phone call to go pick it up.   Man, I can’t hardly hold a thought in my head.  All I can think about is riding her again.

I’m waiting any day now. my camera is ready, my bags are already packed, and my route is planned. I just don’t have my bike yet. Tomorrow? I hope? Friday? I honestly don’t know.

Maybe you don’t know what I’m talking about.   Maybe touring is not your idea of a good ride.  Thats cool.   To me, it *IS* riding.   Of an 15 hour a day, 3 day ride, this is what its like for me:

1. first 2 hours, are nothing but stress like any other day.   wondering if I forgot anything, if I am gonna hit rain, if I’ve abandoned my family or if something is going wrong at work.
2. next 2 hours I realize that I’m actually heading somewhere.   My senses come back.   My feet are up on the foot pegs, and I swear to god theres a tiny hole in my boots where my problems and my life stresses are dripping out.
3. next 2 hours its dusk, and I’m getting excited.   It’s still a friday or a thursday night.   I’m feeling alive again.   I start to notice the evening stars and The smells of the road.  Music sounds better.   Starting to feel alive again.
4. I hit my hotel room or pitch my tent, with a new point of view.   Tomorrow, the world is fucking mine.  MINE.   I’m gonna see what there is too see, and my watch isn’t worth looking at because time has slowed down and doesn’t matter.
5. I wake up, with the cold air on my face, and the day at my feet.   Every decision now is a good one:  Do I eat at the local coffee shop, or quick mart?  There are no wrong answers.   everything is an experience now.    I have all day.   Tonight, I’ll be even further from home.   Load the bike, and get on with it.     Its all good.
6. I ride all day.  I feel my wits and my senses come back.   I know, worse case scenario that If I have to I can not show up to work till tuesday morning, or make 1k miles on a ride home.   Maybe I’ll be back monday at noon.  It’s not going to screw up today.
7. Toward saturday at around 4pm, I make more decisions about my day.   I’ll live by them.  I hit my camp by dusk, set my camp, drink a nip of scotch, call my wife and tell her my philosophy or description of my day.  by this point, I’m a new man and I miss her and my kids.   I’m looking foward to seeing her.
8. sunday morning, I head home.   no matter how far away that is.

Cheap therapy for about 6 tanks of gas, a sleeping bag and a love of the open road.   You tell me what else can do this, and I’ll kiss your ass.   After 42 years of life, I haven’t found it.

Dammit, I’m frustrated.

I knew from the 90 minutes I sat by the side of the freeway last december when I blew my engine, that I was going to spend at least 3 grand to get it rolling again.   A few weeks later I figured 4 grand.  then, when my flywheel was fucked I figured it would be $4,500.  I’d planned on raising that much.   I raised $1900 and gave it to jerry, which left 2600 bucks I had to come up with.     Jerry called me and told me my bike would be done thursday.   I rallied, did some hustling, sold some web sites and got 2500 bucks thursday.   Man, was I happy.  I made my goal.

Till i got there and found out I was 1,175 dollars short.   I’ll raise that too.   I’m waiting on one part to come in from Milwaukee, then I’ll be riding again.   Jerry is being very fair to me on a bike that needed everything but case halves, cylinders and heads.

Really, none of this matters.  Not your problem, It’s my problem.    I was hoping to be breaking my bike in again tonight.   Listening to the stereo, cruising over the utah hill tonight, dreaming of where I’d ride to this summer.   I’d change my oil for the initial break in, and ride a few hundred more miles and change it again.   Then, the US is my oyster.

My bike is important to me.   Man, Maybe too important to some people, but certainly not to me.   It’s my sanity — my reset button.   It’s my psychiatrist that asks for nothing more than a tank of gas and an unknown road to tell me exactly what I need to do to make my life, my BACA chapter, my family and my direction all come into harmony and be better.   You may not understand that.   If you don’t, you probably don’t ride.     4 hours into an unknown direction, things come into focus.   Clarity happens.    I learn to appreciate the thorns that I have bled to, the plant that I am keeping alive and the roses that smell so sweet once again.     I’ll ride another 10 hours away from home, and the way home I go home a better man.  A more patient husband, an understanding father.   Thats not drama, thats reality.    I absolutely understand that I need to ride.

The last 2 years I’ve given up so much.   I lost my home of  15 years.   I went months and months keeping my employees paid and me going home with nothing most weeks.   I’ve had repo men on my doorstep more than a few times.   I’ve defaulted on credit cards.    i’ve had phone calls from people I’ve owed money to.   I’ve had fridays I’ve barely made payroll.    My wife has not had grocery money.   I’ve sat home a failure, with my phone blowing up from bill collectors.    All with my bike in the garage, and 25 bucks for 2 tanks of gas, and I’ve risen and fought again on monday.

Now, my business is profitable again.   have a little money, and am using it to pay off the debt I’ve accrued to keep my business alive.   My business partner has stayed my best friend, who fights his fights as well, and many of mine.   But my bike is not in the garage, and I can’t enjoy any of it without it.   Next week, I will.   I’m going to take a few hundred dollars, ride to texas for the first time in my life, re-align my priorities, and come home with my ass on fire and my head clear.    Gotta get my rockability back.

Even my bike let me down at the perfect time of the year.    I can’t complain about a thing.

My wife is rock solid.  I’ve picked my friends well.   My business is healthy.   My family is good.    Once my bike is back, I’ll be complete.       Like I said, its not me being dramatic.   It’s a fact of my life.     I am a Biker.