Snowing Outside

Man, it’s snowing outside.   These are the worst times for a guy who rides.   I’m going to power it out and ride my bike to work in the morning very carefully, and by the afternoon I’m hoping the snow melts because I can’t take not riding for another day.   I pussed out this morning and Robyn took me to work in the rain.  I shoulda  rode.

I’m planning my spring run.   Next spring, like I did last year, I’m going to take a run to glenrio texas and sleep amidst the abandoned gas stations, hotels with the freeway an 1/8 of a mile away.   Ill pull up tired, take the bungee chords off of my tour pak that hold my bed roll, get situated, have a nip of 12 year old scotch, and stare at the stars.   I’ll think about the day before, my life ahead, and wonder what my wife and kids are doing.    I’ll find my place in the universe, and it’ll be rock solid, yet again.   I’ll sleep in my sleeping bag, with a loaded gun under my pillow, because I won’t risk my place in the universe and getting home to my family.    In the morning, ill stir a bit, wonder where I’m going to get a cup of coffee and see what I hadn’t seen the night before because of the cover of night.    I’ll walk around, fully realizing that Ive got to make 500 miles that day to make it home in 2 days.    I’ll take a bunch of pictures, wishing I’d had made it closer to adrian texas, and miss things that 10 miles down the road will make me realize I’ll have to come this way again.

I’ll head the 41 miles into Tucumcari, knowing I’ve got a full day to make 500 miles, and eat breakfast.   I’ll check out the blue swallow motel, stop and take some pictures and maybe even say hello to the proprietors, and shoot the bull about route 66 and try and get a feeling how hard it is to turn a dollar on a historic route, and wishing I was them.     I won’t care so much, how many miles I’ll make that day.   After all, it will be saturday, and I’ll know that push comes to shove I can Iron butt it back to utah.   I won’t let anything get in the way of this perfect saturday.   It Will be perfect.

I’ll ride through santa Rosa NM, looking for the places I’ve seen in books a hundred times before.  Clines Corners.  Moriarty, looking for a gem, because I’d crammed for  this test days before.   I’ll more than likely bypass Albuqurque to make time, and yet again take alternate routes through Grants and Thoreau, looking for places that have been ignored, and wondering about how they relate to me.     Ill love this section of route.    It’ll be colder that I want, and I won’t care.   I’m seeing places that I’m passionate about and that I know only a few care about.

Ill spend the night in Holbrook KOA because its familar, and because I know that I can be home by 3PM sunday.

I can’t wait to go.

I just checked, its still snowing outside. WTF, I don’t want to wait that long

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Why I’m a member of Bikers Against Child Abuse

I’m not a joiner. I didn’t join the band club, I didn’t run for class president, and I am not a member of the Elks. I’m not in to just joining a cause because it’s a place to meet people and be social. To be honest, I hardly care. In fact, I don’t care. I’ve been lucky enough to meet a girl with my same dreams, and I’ve got three beautiful and daughters that are in my charge whom I love. Everything beyond that is a bonus.

I also love riding motorcycles. Ever since I first tasted riding 20 years ago, I knew it was part of my soul. A perfect day to me is riding a thousand miles exhausted to a place I’ve never been to on a friday, and spending the next two days riding home. Riding is the closest thing to beauty and maybe even sanity that I’ve ever known. On the road, the answers to life come rushing in when you’re on two wheels with the wind in your face. I could spend the rest of my life experiencing that and trying to describe it, and probably never ever pin that down. I hope to spend the rest of my life trying.

I also have come to realize that Innocence is a rare thing. You’re not and I’m not. We all have things we may be ashamed of, guilty of, and could be wrong of. There’s two sides to every single story. Every divorce, every disagreement, every misunderstanding & argument, every business deal. We all make mistakes that weigh on us, and we try and improve and become better people. Sometimes we do, and some times we don’t. Thats just life. It is what it is.

Except kids. Like George Burns said in the movie “Oh God!” : “kids have enough to do just being themselves”. Kids are the only thing that is innocent in this world. They trust us, they need us. It’s innate in them. They just expect us, as adults to keep them safe. I love their resiliency and optimism. We need more of that in the world. Kids are the only thing that are pure and innocent. They also can’t escape us if we violate that trust.

But there are some worthless fucks in this world who don’t care about that. They’re one in a thousand, but they’re out there. They are for themselves to an extreme. There are some who could give a shit about the beauty of who we all once were, and who we should all aspire to be. These are the self indulgent cowards in the night who would rob that innocence. These men and women are my enemy. These children are my hero’s.

The BACA creed says it all for me. I’ll do WHATEVER it takes to keep these kids safe. No child Deserves to live in fear. If I’m the only obstacle, I’ll be that obstacle. The men and women I serve gladly with are my brothers. This is not the glee club, the Lions, or the welcome wagon. We are not here to brighten your day, not be rough around the edges or sell you things. We are here to protect your children. We swear, we ride like madmen and we are not what society would call “refined” or civilized, but we will do our job. We’ll make abused kids laugh, smile and at the end of the day, they’ll feel safe because they’ll believe when we tell them we’ll keep them safe. Only then will we sleep.

Riding a motorcycle may kill me one day. I am prepared for that, and I’m 100% fine with that. I love riding, and a life without riding isn’t living to me. I take the same approach with BACA and protecting these kids. I’d die in the line of duty with my kids, and with yours. Nothing in my life will ever compare to the work I do with B.A.C.A. I’m not in it to act like a bad ass, be in a club or wear colors. It takes my time, breaks my heart, and costs me money. But I can’t ignore it. It needs to be done and I can’t be neutral now. Only cowards are neutral to child abuse.

This is my patch:  I have earned it.   I will keep earning it.   Whatever it takes.

B.A.C.A. Patch

I am a proud member of bikers against child abuse. This is my fire.

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Fuck facebook

Since I discovered facebook, its had my attention. I think I’ve been a bit addicted to it, but it’s not nearly as thought provoking as dumping my thoughts into this blog.   I think it’s time to choke back on Facebook, and take some time to post more here.   Thats my thoughts anyway.  lets see how it turns out.

Thanksgiving this year was pretty good.  We met up with robyns family in Ogden, met up with my family in provo, and had some good times in between.  Went to the shooting star saloon with my father in law and brother, and later went to Hal Hudsons, an old friend of my brother and had a great time.   I’m not going to go into the details of any of these things, because it was more than likely the same type of thanksgiving you had with your family:   Reuniting with family, eating turkey, and enjoying old company.   You have yours, and I have mine.

Fuckit.  I’m just going to make bullet points:

  • Was great to see my 3 year old nephew who only a few weeks ago was diagnosed with cancer.   He’s gonna beat it.  Thats my official call.   He’s going to live a long and prosperous life, and  his malady is going to bring his whole family together and they’ll be stronger because of it.   He’s going to learn to drive a car, have his first date, get married to a beautiful girl someday and die in his sleep at 93 years of age with his loved ones around him.
  • My father in law telling me that my older brother was a “good role model for me”.   While I don’t disagree that my brother is a stud and a fine example to anyone, I’m still scratching my head about that one.   Truth be told, i’m in no way looking for a role model at 42 years of age.
  • The shooting star saloon with my father in law is a fine tradition.   we’re on year 2.
  • Hal Hudsons garage is the coolest place I’ve seen short of the snow cap drive in on route 66.    He upped the ante with that one.
  • My wife, as always, is the shit.
  • I ate like crazy all weekend and monday morning, actually lost 1 pound.  go figure.
  • Glad thanksgiving is over.   Time to get back to work.
  • Riding my bike after 4 days of not riding  was pretty sweet.   Longest I’ve gone for a year or more.

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Doobie Brothers: Listen to the Music

Dont you feel it growin, day by day
People gettin ready for the news
Some are happy, some are sad
Oh, we got to let the music play
What the people need
Is a way to make em smile
It aint so hard to do if you know how
Gotta get a message
Get it on through
Oh now mama, dont you ask me why

Oh, oh, listen to the music
Oh, oh, listen to the music
Oh, oh, listen to the music
All the time

Well I know, you know better
Everything I say
Meet me in the country for a day
Well be happy
And well dance
Oh, were gonna dance our blues away
And if Im feelin good to you
And youre feelin good to me
There aint nothin we cant do or say
Feelin good, feeling fine
Oh, baby, let the music play

Oh, oh, listen to the music
Oh, oh, listen to the music
Oh, oh, listen to the music
All the time

Like a lazy flowing river
Surrounding castles in the sky
And the crowd is growing bigger
Listnin for the happy sounds
And I got to let them fly

Oh, oh, listen to the music
Oh, oh, listen to the music
Oh, oh, listen to the music
All the time

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Monument Valley, 4 corners and Route 66 with Wendy

My father was a busy man, and I’ll always remember the time he took time out to go one on one with me and took me to yellowstone.   We shot from the hip, slept in the truck and  It’s a memory I’ll always remember.   Not because it was the best trip I’ve ever done, or even that it was yellowstone.   It’s because my old man chose me to spend his weekend with.   I’ll always remember that.   I was about 13, and it was a pretty special trip for me.

My daughter wendy has struggled a bit since she moved from her old school to her new.   She’s a fighter, and she may never know how proud I am of her, but I am.    I called her wednesday from work and asked her if she was up for a motorcycle adventure.    her answer was yes.

So friday at noon we headed out East.   My loose plan was to hit page, then either stay in Kayenta Arizona, or somewhere outside monument valley at dusk.   To be honest, Just like 35 years earlier with my dad, we were shooting from the hip.  I hadn’t booked a thing.  Thats how I like to ride, lets see what wendy thinks about that.   My gut feeling was she’d roll with the punches.

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We stopped in page to get some stuff we’d forgotten and stopped at the subway to eat.   Immediately inside, a lady saw my B.A.C.A. patch and told me how much  B.A.C.A. had helped her kid in idaho.   She was nearly in tears and you could see how grateful she was.    I told her that once a B.A.C.A. Kid, always a B.A.C.A. kid and she’s got an army of bikers across the nation committed to keeping her safe.   It’s nice to be able to say that and mean it.

After page, we had to stop for an accident on the way out of town, then headed toward Kayenta Arizona.   From there, we pressed on to Kayenta arizona to stay the night.   My thinking was, that wendy is 13 years old, and I didn’t want to burn her out on long rides by pushing too hard.     I can make miles, but after all, she is young.    I had to keep reminding myself, and being on a bike for 8-10 hours at a time my be my idea of fun, but this trip was for her as well.    By the time we got to Kayenta, she was a bit cold, a bit tired and wanted to crash.   we called robyn to see if we could find a place to pitch a tent or get a room, but there were no real options.   I told wendy we’d have to push another 50 miles to Bluff Utah, where I had called ahead and knew we could stay, and her answer was “lets just do it”.   I knew then, wendy was my riding buddy.    She had a bit of her old man in her.

We hit monument valley right as the sun was going down, and it was gorgeous for the few views we had of it.   She was cold, but we dropped 1500 feet in elevation and in 50 miles, we hit Bluff Utah, pitched our tent in the dark, and went and ate ribs at the local stakehouse.

My intent on this trip was to talk, and relate to my daughter.   Reconnect.   I don’t really remember what it’s like to be 13 years old, but I know she struggles with the things that are important to a 13 year old.  Boys, school, and wondering where you fit in.   We didn’t talk too much in depth, but I knew tonight was not our night.    We went back to the tent where my daughter immediately crashed out, and I made some phone calls to my business partner, a few BACA friends and caught up on what happened at work.      What happened during the day both encouraged and discouraged me:   I knew that I was going back to work monday to face problems.    I knew this was going to effect my ride.    I was also clear on what my objective was this trip:  Ride my bike, and connect with wendy and help her out.

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We woke up early that morning and I knew it was cold.   Cold that I would normally deal with, but I had my daughter with me.   We got going around 10, broke camp and got some conveneince store breakfasts in Bluff.      We had 50 miles to get to 4 corners.     I’d never been there, but 50 miles is an easy ride.

4 corners to me, was anti climactic.  First off, its not that actual 4 corners, its 3 miles off. Second, It kind of pissed me off that I had to pay 3 bucks a head to see it. It was cold and windy, and not all that cool. Yes, wendy and I can say that we’ve stood in 4 states at the same time, but then again who really cares that we can say that.

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we paid our 6 bucks at 4 corners, and headed on toward gallup new mexico.     New mexico is gorgeous and I want to explore it more.    We got gas in gallup, and headed south.  I knew we’d stay the night in holbrook by this point.   We could press on to flagstaff, but the weather in Holbrook was the best and I wanted to have some discussion time with wendy.     Sunday, I knew we’d make miles and head home.   I wanted some quality time with my daughter.   It’s half the reason we made this trip.   My mindset from 4 corners to holbrook was anything but right.  I knew I was going back to work monday with a lot of problems that had to be solved, that   depended on me.    I struggled to get my mind right and into the ride.  The 90 miles from 4 corners to Gallup New Mexico had me struggling with indecision of if I was doing the right thing by riding so far from home, and what I had to get done monday.     Long rides sort that out.    Eventually, I got back into the moment and realized that anything I do with my daughter and family is much more important and worthwhile and that I needed to focus on her.     By the time we hit Gallup, I was looking forward to having some quality time with my daughter.   I was 24 hours into the ride.  I knew it had to be tonight.

We stopped at Denny’s, got our bearings and I knew we’d hit the point where the bike was going to be pointing closer to home.    I also know theres something really familiar about route 66 that I’ve always loved.   Maybe wendy would pick up on my vibe and I could share that with her.

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We pulled into holbrook around 4 pm, and pitched our tent at the KOA.     I decided I was going to show wendy some route 66, and she was excited about that.   We had ice cream at a local route 66 food spot, and rode through the town.   As we headed back toward the KOA, I was thinking that maybe a campfire and a discussion would be a perfect chance to talk with Wendy and we could have a moment that would nail the reason I took her on this trip.     We bought some firewood, and sat and talked for a couple hours.     Honestly, it will be  moment I’ll always remember.   I hope she remembers it.   I babbled about her future, remembered what it’s like to be 13, and as long as it takes to burn a bundle of wood, we got that much closer.   She’s a great kid.  I’m so proud of her.   In those 2 hours, I think she got that message in a way that 25 years earlier my father maybe even didn’t get across to me.     I knew I’d nailed the moment.

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The next morning, we woke up early, broke camp and headed toward home.   As the sun came up, the eagles “tequila sunrise” was in my head, and so I queued that up in the ipod and listened to the eagles as we headed toward flagstaff.     We got off at winona, headed into flag, got some hot chocolate and coffee and both talked about how good the morning ride was, even tho it wasn’t all that warm.

I find it funny how “vibes” for lack of a better term, work. I woke up in a great mood, with the right music and the first thing wendy said when we piled off the bike in flagstaff was how much she enjoyed listening to the Eagles greatest hits. It was the right vibe. I think about that alot to be honest.

From flag we dropped off the mountain, and headed the 5 hours toward home.   If wendy had her way, we’d have ridden another week.   She’s my riding buddy and long rides and big mileage isn’t too big for her.    We’ll do this again.   Hopefully for years to come.

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948 Miles,   4 States, 2 1/2 Days.


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