Random Thoughts

the things that go unsaid

Tony was a good man.    His daughter will bear the scars of him leaving so young.    I think I bear the ones of my father leaving at 22.    It does’nt matter.    It is what is is.

Theres 2 songs that I can’t get through.   One is danny boy.   My father played me that song before he died.   he sent it to me when I lived in Maryland.   It’s almost like he knew his own mortality.   I don’t think he knew his own legacy.    it was large.   It’s huge to me anyway.

The other is this song.    Rancid, fall back down.   Different time, different era, but from a good friend as well.

Today well ride for tony.   Taking his daughter, and his brother is taking his bike.   Like me, he rode to blow off the stress of the day.   he liked snow canyon and he liked sand hollow.    we’ll go those places and think of him.   I have daughters.   hell, its all ive got.   I think about what my own father passed to me.   material possesions that fade away.       At the end of the day, its whats in your blood that passes on.   he’s in me.  The dunn that as far as I’m concerned started with my grandfather and my dad got, and is in me as well.    I saw his fears, his triumphs, his dark days and his shining moments he was proud of.   those things are in me.    It’s going to take time for that to sink in to tony’s kids.   it took time for me.   Eventually, we all figure out that it’s who we are is whats the most important.   We all figure out that it’s our families, and our gene pool that make us who we are.  It’s why old people like family reunions.

Today is tony’s day.   After that, I’m gonna put it to rest, and hold the memory.

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R.I.P. Tony “Spike” Skougaard

I got some shitty news from my President this morning.   My friend Tony Skougaard passed away last night.   I am in shock.   I am extremely sad.   He was a friend.

I first met Tony in 2001 when I sold my company to a company he worked for.   I immediately liked him.  Tony had an easy going way about him, but also didnt take any shit and voiced his opinion when he had something to say.   We both liked Punk Rock, and would share music.  He knew the new stuff, I knew the old stuff.     He was left wing, I was right wing.   We would debate and give each other shit, all in fun.   I remember when he bought his harley.   He was so stoked, I was the first person from the office he came to show it to.   he bought well, and was proud.   I was jealous.    Tony was one of a kind.   I am going to miss him.   I already miss him.

Our daughters went to summer camp together.   I hired his ex wife for a time.   I had dinner at his house, and he mine.   I introduced him to B.A.C.A.  where he was quite honestly one of the best supporters we had, and was up for his patch.    He didnt care when he got it, he was there for the right reasons.   He pitched in, had your back, and partied hard.     When you needed something, Tony was there.   At least he was there for me.   He helped me more than a few times.

I remember the phone conversations with him about joining BACA, when he was going through a hard time in his life.   He said he was looking for a deeper purpose, something to ride for.   I remember riding to vegas with him and him running out of gas :).   I remember calling him first when I got my first tattoo, after years of him egging me on to get one.    I remember him telling me to be careful, that when you get one, you’ll want more, and he was right.    I remember having hard times myself, and knowing tony had my back, in the ways you know are real.   The darkest night of my life had Tony on the outskirts, watching out for my interests.   I remember him in the passing lane, cutting it close and laughing about it when I was shitting my pants!  I remember riding thunder in the tunnel with him, before either of us was in BACA.   He always had a smart ass comment, a willingness to give you what he had, and a shot of sailor jerry at the end of the day.    He was a good dad and a good friend.  Maybe the best.

I stayed in touch with Tony when I started up my own company again.   He was one of the best customer service managers you’ll ever see, and hired him as a consultant to teach my people how to do things right.     He was honest, and thorough.    What you see is what you get, and what you got was true.  You don’t get that good without being genuine.   Tony was.

His daughter found him this morning.    It rips my heart out, and I’m struggling to get over it.     There is a hole left where only spike could fill.    Rest in peace my brother.   We’ll all miss you.

Tony "Spike" Skougaard

Rancid and Green Day will never sound the same again bro.   You were one of a kind.   Ride hard where you’re at.

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Dogtown

Its 3:20 AM, and Watching dogtown. I remember these times. I remember the early days of skateboarding magazine, of new innovations and these guys seemed like my people. Its funny how 30 years changes things. How perspectives change, how life changes. Older and wiser.

I’ve made a habit of bearing my heart into this blog. I don’t know why, but its a release I don’t get anywhere else. I feel pretty anonymous here, and I’ve come to the point that I feel pretty safe dumping out whats on my mind. I know there are people that read it, and I do get some feedback now and again that makes me feel better. Even with no feedback, I still feel better. Life is for living…. for feeling. For experiencing, and I’m watching new phases unfold of things to live and feel.

We’re all humans. We think, we feel, we take our bruises and scuffs and move on. No one gets out of this without these things, and the ones who don’t miss a lot I think.

I need a good ride. It’s been a rough summer. One a good long solo bike ride would answer pretty handily. I appreciate the kudos from my friends here who offer encouragement, but honestly you gotta know I’m not looking for that. I think most times I’m just looking for an answer, and theres always an answer.

Dogtown. these guys figured out some cool shit. I had some of these guys boards. I had a bitchen tony alva board I used to ride pools and ramps with, as well as a raybonez rodriguez board which was classic. THe alva board had so much concave, I used to joke I could eat a bowl of cereal out of it, and I think I was right. I remember draining swimming pools in the middle of the night, and building more half pipes than I can probably count with my friends. We were free. We had fun. We were bro’s. Some of these guys are still friends to this day. All older now, and wiser, but we had our day with skateboarding.

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Kristy are you doing okay?

Ever escorted an abused teenager who had to testify against her abusive dad 150 miles away, and stood outside her motel door to protect her so she could just sleep? A kid who just wanted to grow up: just wanted her first date; just wanted to know what prom is like. Instead, she had to push through shit that her pedophile dad heaped upon her. She’s gotta deal with that her whole life. BACA my friends, is here to break that chain so she can move ahead we hope. I hope. Kristy, are you doing okay?

There’s a moment in time
And it’s stuck in my mind
Way back, when we were just kids

Cause your eyes told the tale
Of an act of betrayal
I knew that somebody did

Oh, waves of time
Seem to wash away
The scenes of our crimes
For you this never ends

Can you stay strong?
Can you go on?
Kristy are you doing okay?
A rose that won’t bloom
Winter’s kept you
Don’t waste your whole life trying
To get back what was taken away

Though the marks on your dress
Had been neatly repressed
I knew that something was wrong
And I should have spoke out
And I’m so sorry now
I didn’t know
Cause we were so young

Oh, clouds of time
Seem to rain on
Innocence left behind
And it never goes away

Can you stay strong?
Can you go on?
Kristy are you doing okay?
A rose that won’t bloom
Winter’s kept you
Don’t waste your whole life trying
To get back what was taken away

Oh, clouds of time
Seem to rain on
Innocence left behind
And it never goes away
It never goes away

Can you stay strong?
Can you go on?
Kristy are you doing okay?
A rose that won’t bloom
Winter’s kept you
Don’t waste your whole life trying
To get back what was taken away

Don’t waste your whole life trying
To get back what was taken away

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Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul

William Ernest Henly

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Easy Rider’s Dennis Hopper Dies

(Reuters) – Hollywood actor Dennis Hopper, best known for directing and starring in the 1969 cult classic “Easy Rider,” died on Saturday from complications of prostate cancer, a friend of the actor said. Hopper was 74.

The hard-living screen star died at his home in the coastal Los Angeles suburb of Venice at 8:15 a.m. PDT (1515 GMT), surrounded by family and friends, the friend, Alex Hitz, told Reuters.

In a wildly varied career spanning more than 50 years, Hopper appeared alongside his mentor James Dean in “Rebel Without a Cause” and “Giant” in the 1950s and played maniacs in such films as “Apocalypse Now,” “Blue Velvet” and “Speed.”

He received two Oscar nominations — for writing “Easy Rider” (with co-star Peter Fonda and Terry Southern), and for a rare heartwarming turn as an alcoholic high-school basketball coach in the 1986 drama “Hoosiers.”

“Easy Rider,” regarded is one of the greatest films of American cinema, helped usher in a new era in which the old Hollywood guard was forced to cede power to young filmmakers such as Francis Ford Coppola and Martin Scorsese.

The low-budget blockbuster, originally conceived by Fonda, introduced mainstream moviegoers to pot-smoking, cocaine-dealing, long-haired bikers.

“We’d gone through the whole ’60s and nobody had made a film about anybody smoking grass without going out and killing a bunch of nurses,” Hopper told Entertainment Weekly in 2005. “I wanted ‘Easy Rider’ to be a time capsule for people about that period.”

Hopper and Fonda were joined on screen by a then-unknown Jack Nicholson as an alcoholic lawyer, but it was not a harmonious set. Hopper clashed violently with everyone and Fonda later described him as a “little fascist freak.” Their friendship was destroyed.

Hopper fell ill last September. He continued working almost to the very end, both on his cable TV series “Crash” and on a book showcasing his photography. But his final months were also consumed by a bitter divorce battle with his fifth wife, Victoria Duffy.

Indeed, his private life was never dull. His marriages included an eight-day union in 1970 with Michelle Phillips of the Mamas and Papas, who later told Vanity Fair that she was subjected to “excruciating” treatment.

Hopper is survived by four children.

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Mexican Hat Utah.

Had a great time at mexican Hat.   It was pretty cool to think that over a year ago I rode by there with my daughter thinking this would be a great place to get together with my BACA family, and a year later it happened.   Thats how these guys roll.   We all love to ride.

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Went with my bro clint and my wife.   We had a great time.

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The Real Problem With Child Abuse

Is, its damn hard to catch.

When I first got involved with BACA, I was pumped.   Good guys vs bad guys.   Bikers against Perps.   Save the kids, They know who we are and the kids move on.

Then I started going to court.  I started seeing lying parents, making up stories and custody battles to protect their own interests, not so much their kids.   I gotta say, any parent who uses their kid as a poker chip in a custody deck of cards?  thats Taliban shit.   Thats putting your WMD’s in a school, because you know NATO can’t bomb there.   Thats the biggest pussy of all.   You’re barely better than a perp to me.    The whole point of this mission is:  Let kids be kids.   Don’t put bullshit pressure on them while theyre trying to grow up and figure out who they are, and who they want to be.

But heres the biggest problem:   It’s damn hard to prove child abuse, and the perps know it.

They know if they leave visible bruises, teachers will see it.   they hit below the belt and shirt lines.

They know how to find weak parents, or struggling kids who need something.  the watch, they learn, they infiltrate.   They are the most worthless, cowardly fucks in the world.     They are the flotsam and jetsom of society.   They hide in shadows, and take advantage.     They also know what they are doing, and how to do it.    The bold ones tell little johnny or suzy that they will kill them if they nark.   This shit gets buried deep, and its all on the backs of children.    They strip cogs in these kids brains, and sooner or later it changes them.   Some, end up thinking its actually normal.      The cycle continues.     Consider the average perp gets over 100 kids, and you’ll see this is nothing short of an epidemic, and getting worse.

So the ones we get, are the obvious cases.

Then they go to court.   YOu have to understand, that you need evidence to prosecute.    You need witnesses at least.   You need something.   When I was a  young kid, my father’s lawyer told him something that I over heard and its always stuck with me:   The law isnt about justice, its about order.     There can never be justice for what happens to these kids.   All you can do, is round em up, and put em in prison or put them in the chair.  Even putting a bullet in their head, It doesn’t level the field for a kid who’s had years of secret abuse.     It just doesn’t.   Its damage control.     We’ve all got scars, but these kids bear em way too early, when they’re not ready or capable of handling it.    Our job, is to help them overcome it.   Protecting them helps that.

Back to court, and evidence….    How do you prove it?    On the word of a 5 year old little girl?  of a 10 year old boy?    You need a witness, or evidence.     I’m not going to go into evidence, because I barely know shit about it and don’t want to think too much about it, but a doctor can tell when a child has been raped.      You get the drift.   Whats it take to get to that point?    It takes a mother who is willing to throw a marriage away, has the financial or family resources to move to somewhere else, and the courage to put up with the threats from the perp who will do anything to stay out of prison.     So many women have been conditioned to do just the opposite from years of their own abuse, and sometimes selfishness.   Face it, life is tough.   it goes back to the fact that some people are willing to sell out their own kin to find some ease in life, or save their life.    Man, this is a tough gig.

Filter it all down, and the ones we get are truly special.  Timing, the family, the situation are all right.   Sometimes they’re not.

My chapter had 2 cases of sexual abuse of a child today, and the judge sentenced the pricks to 3 years of probation, and 90 days in jail on weekends so the abuser could keep his job.    his boss even came out and plead his case.

I don’t mean to get you discouraged.   Man, you CAN’T GET DISCOURAGED.    It means you have to be wise, and swing harder at this problem we have, because we’re the only guys who can fix it.   We need  to write more letters, raise more awareness, Ride to more kids,  not ignore any sort of abuse, and be stronger than the perps are sneaky and the courts have sympathy or lack of evidence.

Wear your patch, and shout this shit from the rooftops.    You’ve earned it.   A BACA member doesnt get that patch easily.   In my state, its a 2 year commitment at least, and a FBI background check saying you’ve never abused kids or women.   It’s also a unanimous vote by a board who has been watching you and your family for 2 years to feel good that you’re BACA material.

It means we need to do more.   Goddammit, the innocent are depending on us.  the only real innocence in the world:  our kids.

Also know this:  My whole life is worth one or two kids we save and empower.       Most of us have helped way more than that.

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