Been going through a foo fighter kick lately.  Love this song.

Curt cobain, you were a junkie dickhead.   Your drummer was far superior in terms of making music than you were.   There, I said it.

I  work in basically the trash/Recycling business.      I got a lot of thoughts about this, but I gotta tell you… I feel like my whole life has led up to where I’m at now.   I truly love it.

I had an  excavation business when I was 26.   Dump Trucks and hauling, Trackhoes and excavation.   Moving material and estimating quantities and haul times.

Then I got into the internet.   Sold my excavation company to dive straight into a business and technology that I knew nothing about.   I feel I did pretty well.

Then after a sketchy partnership and 10 years later, I got into really high risk and extensive marketing.  Stuff most people don’t know about and I learned a lot.

10 years of that, and I’m working for my brother.   A good thing.   Mostly, because I get to see my family a lot more.   I could write a blog about that.

I work at a recycling company now.     Marketing is a sketchy business, especially internet marketing.   Right now, I’m doing a really honest thing.    I feel like I’m making a difference, which to be honest Is what my heart of hearts has always wanted.     Its fuel ever single morning.   Its not a day off to catch my breath, or thinking of another option.    Its focus, at least for me.    I can’t help but think my whole life has led me to this point.   I’ve made more money, but coming home at night and knowing you left it all on the table…. because its good… has made a huge difference.

I don’t have much more to say, because I’m arguing with some prick on facebook.   I did however want to post a picture of contrasts.   Without contrasts, you never where you  stand I think, without guessing.    I think that contrasts have made me what I like about life.     its at least a measuring stick, without illusions.

My Nieces daughter took this picture.    I just really like the contrast.

First off, I think bill maher is a retard.   I liked religulous, but I still think he’s a bit of a retard.   I also think alot of other people are retard.     If I can, let let me counter point:

This occupy wall street bullshit.    Man, I’m torn.

I remember my folks talking about the revolution of the 60s, where the haight-ashbury crowd were high as fuck, but ended up getting a voice.

I hate politics.   I hate the one sided bullshit that it has become.   Interesting to see whats gonna happen….

Lots has happened the last few months.   Way way good things.

I had a good discussion with my brother my last ride.    My father always mentioned a person going through their “gethsemane” as it were.    he had his, I’ve had mine.    you get past it.   I don’t want to dwell on it.    Its part of life.    You either rise and fight, or you get run over.    i’ve never been run over my whole life.  I truly value that experience.    it formed me in a good way.   bla bla bla.  Too much of my blog has been my dumping ground from that, and I’m way past it.   Time to focus on the good things.   Are they not everywhere?

So my bike is still in the garage, but It’s out of registration and I won’t ride it again.      Started thinking about a new blog, and I won’t do that either.  It’s just a bike.   I made it, it didn’t make me.

been looking at other bikes lately.   My bike was hella expensive when I bought it.   nearly 30 grand.    I look back, and I’ve had nearly as many good memories on 1500 dollar bike, back in the day.

Sure, I can’t wave to the harley bitches in their fingerless gloves and assless chaps.     I found a bike today I could pay 3200 bucks today that had less miles than my bike, and I bet that owner felt the same wind that I did.    He did.  If you don’t wave to me, I could barely give a fuck.     Wished it was American, but I won’t wait.   Owned three harley and 2 jap bikes in my day.   if its 3 to 3 and you think i’m a poser, then point that bike toward the midwest and lets see who sleeps first.

I respect the Lone wolf.     I wished we had more.   I tried to join a few things, but at the end of the day I left the patches, and the clubs.    My convictions havent ever changed, and I don’t need an insignia to tell me what I stand for.      I can do that on a vespa.   Hell, I can do that in my saturn.    it’s just not nearly as fun.

here’s my question to you:      Does your bike define you?

Called harley davidson today.   to turn my bike in.   I can no longer afford it.

been thinking about starting another blog.   I no longer live anywhere near route 66, and within a few weeks will no longer have a bike.

rips my guts out.     I have loved riding, still love riding.     I’m doing this for my family.   if I was single, i’d fight more but I’m not.    I’ll have another one someday.    Maybe not the street glide, maybe not even a harley.

But it’s the right call.    Entertained it a lot of ways, but its not gonna happen.

Sitting in the hotel in grand junction colorado. Good ride the last 2 days. Maybe my last before snow falls. The bad part of northern utah is that snow is a serious reality. The good part its easy to hook up with my brother who loves riding equally as much as I do. Everyone has their reason for owning a bike. Some like the status. Some like a little wind. To some its just a garage trophy. I’ve ridden with a lot of people in different settings. My brother rides the same way as I do. The ride itself, the history, the curiosity… Hell, even the poetry of it. Its a good thing.

The original plan was grand junction by dark. A voltage regulator changed the plan. Luckily we stopped in a dealership town, but the situation. Made us rent a car to pick up a part 120 miles away. Part of the adventure of riding I say. It was all good. We hit rock springs WY in the cop-looking rental car with 5 minutes to spare and boogied back in a saner fashion to get a room and discuss the day and a little about life. That in itself I think is a fine weekend. Blood is blood. Best thing about family is the unsaid understanding. It gives you a lot of leeway to give each other shit. Giving shit isn’t always a bad thing.

Made it to meeker colorado by noon. Base of my father and grandparents and the dunn line for a lot of years. Ill post more soon about that. Just a good day, on some under ridden road.
My face is wind burned, my body tired and my head is full of good ride thoughts. I’m just not gonna expound it anymore on a blackberry.

See ya in a few days.

Fokker out

I’m beat. Made the trip from St George to Heber twice in 2 days, with loading and unloading in between.

So glad to be with my family again, and to have a place we call home. Simple things in life are good, with the people who mean the most to me, and constantly prove it how much they’re worth it. I’m not sure they even know how much. I’m a lucky man. I feel it every day.

Got so much to say and no time to say it. I’m hoping things settle here this week and I can start blogging again. Been doing some riding. Lots of exploring to do while the sun is still shining. I aim to do just that.

I love heber Utah.

Driving back to St george tomorrow to get the first of 2 loads. Not because I have that much stuff, but because I have a small trailer.

I love this town. Small town. Good people. Down to earth. Honest. I got a house rental on a handshake and some cash. I’m a tattooed biker and no side glances. This is gonna be home for a while.

I am the guy who knew every road, side road and history for miles around southern utah. Now I have new roads to explore. One weekend at a time (in the summer… There’s snow up here). Looking forward to that challenge

I love my rides to work. Its 30 minutes up a winding canyon. Its so different than southern Utah. The desert is still my home, and will always be near and dear to me, but I’m enjoying this change.

I ride because I like to think, and having a 102 inch motor below my legs and the wind in my face seems to facilitate that. I don’t know why. Its just real. there’s no safety, there’s no windsheild or heater. whats going on outside is whats going on with me. I guess thats why some people love to hike or camp. I like riding.

The last 2 weeks have been good for me. I’ve found my rockability. I’m 44 years old, I’ve taken my share of hits, and I’m still standing.

I need to talk about my 2010. Its been on my mind a lot lately. Even as I type this, I don’t know how to describe it, other than fuck you 2010, you didnt beat me. I came through it. It showed me who I am, in a lot of ways.

If I were you, I’d be probably wondering what the fuck a 2010 is. I’ll try to explain, and not sound lame.

In 2010 I lost it. whatever “it” is…. that thing between your ears that tells you who the fuck you are and is your center, I lost that. For bullshit reasons. For being on a foundation that was half not true, and for certainly not tested. Mine got tested, and I discarded a bit, but I kept most of it, because most of it was pretty goddamn good.

I lost my business. I went broker than I’ve ever wanted to be. I tested my family with my mindset. I was lower than I thought I could ever be. I had no fucking clue who I was or what I should be.

I know now. From where I stand, I knew all along but didnt have the footing to enjoy it or see it. From where I stand now, I love the view, love the hike, and at the risk of sounding pretty arrogant I’m one strong motherfucker for having my mettle tested.

I’m sitting at that church in wallsburg again, on the back lawn in the shade. My wife is making lasagna tonight, and I’m taking 20 minutes to sum up my thoughts. This weekend I’m going to ride again, and gain my curiosity back and spend 2 days making 600 miles in undiscovered country. I can’t wait. I’ll take lots of pictures, and blog it if I can.

Life is pretty fucking good I tell ya.